He was six and bouncing around the playground on a bright green hippity-hop ball, his grin beaming up at staff. Someone snapped a picture at just the right moment.
She was an uncertain girl who had spent most of her life in a residential program. The freedom of a home felt foreign. What do you mean no everyone asks permission to go from the living room to their bedroom? She adjusted and made that home her own.
They weren’t sure about so many things. Everyone said one thing about who they were, but it felt wrong. They needed time, space, patience to figure it out. They are still figuring out life- college, a job, or trade school? The choices feel endless.
All three of these kiddos have grown up before our eyes. As staff members, we startle when we see them in the office. How is this young man the same who bounced on the green ball? How is she balancing college and work, driving a car, and making her way through the world? How are they ready to live on their own? How did they all graduate??
These three have broken barriers. They are flipping the statistics. Only about 50% of foster youth graduate high school on time, but they did. Most don’t attend college, but all three either already are or hope to in the near future. All three have bright, beautiful futures ahead.
Youth in foster care step into a void their non-fostered peers generally don’t experience. Once you’re out of foster care, out of a foster home, you’re on your own. There’s no calling dad to jump your car because you accidentally left the dome light on and the battery drained. There’s no asking mom if you should go to the emergency room because you fell out of your college bunk bed. There’s no calling your parents to let them know you overspent and you know you messed up and you’re sorry, but can they send some cash your way to get you through? Those are typical young adult experiences that are not absent from former foster youth, but the safety net is often absent.
For these three kids in care, they have fostering families who love them. They have fostering families who will pick up the phone at 2AM, will welcome them to holiday dinners and will look over resumes when they are applying for internships or jobs. As great as this is, it isn’t quite the same.
Our kiddos are moving out on their own, some to independent apartments and some to dorms. They are responsible for furnishing/supplying their new places of residence. They won’t go somewhere else of school breaks; they will stay in their dorms/apartments. They will need to be able to cook meals when the cafeterias close for the semester break, to wash clothing in laundromats, and keep important paperwork like social security cards, birth certificates, and medical information in a safe place. They also need comfort, to know that they have the tools to make it (literal tools, like what they need to put together a desk chair, to cook a meal, or to hang a picture on a wall; figurative tools like the skills to handle the inevitable roommate squabble or know which bus to take to get to work on time).
We have helped our kiddos create Wish Lists of supplies for their upcoming moves. Once you start going through every item that fills your house, you realize just how much it takes to run a home! Lightbulbs, paper towels, cozy throw blankets for sick days, can openers, and microwaves all have to come from somewhere! If you are in a position to help, please consider purchasing an item or two from the three wish lists below to help a foster youth stride forward with confidence and care.
