Thanksgiving: a time for gratitude, family, and gathering.

For children and youth in foster care, holidays of all sorts can be triggering.  Thanksgiving can have additional layers of difficulty. 

As caring adults supporting children and youth in foster care, it is important to understand these complexities and offer meaningful support.

Thankful

“Adoption loss is the only trauma in the world where the victims are expected by the whole of society to be grateful.”-

“It is kind of a lot. I’m not looking to get that involved.”

This was the voice on the other end of the line on Monday.  She was the thirty-seventh call I made, the third to pick up (others received voicemails, texts, or emails).  I sighed. It is true, I thought, fostering is “a lot” but being involved is where the magic happens.

We need people who want to be that involved. 

We need parents

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, foster means “to encourage something to develop.”

Fostering a child is not simply providing shelter and meals.  It is so much more.  So what exactly does a parent foster?

Foster parents foster healing.

Foster parents foster self-esteem.

Foster parents foster healthy relationships.

Foster parents foster emotional intelligence and empathy.

Foster parents foster joy and curiosity.

Foster parents foster positive childhood memories.

Foster parents foster success- achievements along the way

He was so small!

Allison’s hands fluttered over of him, not sure where to touch.  He had a tube going through his nose and down the back of his throat, allowing him to eat.  He had a respirator to breathe, which he was weaning off of but still needed most of the time.  He had bandages on his legs where his IVs had been placed. 

The nurses took time and demonstrated how to hold him

Stacy and James Lopes were empty nesters when they decided to foster again. They had previously fostered and took guardianship of their son’s teenage friend years prior. As a stay at home mother, Stacy enjoyed being present for her biological children as they were growing up and felt she and James still had the ability to make a difference in a youth’s life.

After a couple of months, the Lopes’ home ultimately opened in January

Many folks want to foster, but they are not sure they have what it takes.  They question, am I enough?  Will I be able to do this?  Do I have what a child needs?

Let’s explore what kids in care need.  If you think it sounds like you, that might be a sign it is time to apply!

1. A Steady Presence: Children and youth in care have been through a lot.  While

Teen…Our favorite four letter word…

Teen…Seven years of growth, excitement, fear, expectations, and change.

Teen…A stage of development not unlike that of a toddler, but in a frame closer to an adult.

Teen…Our most in-need population.

Recently, a person on our social media feed sparked conversation about teens.  They made the standard statement that teens are tough.  True.  All ages and stages have joys and challenges.  Teen challenges are notorious and often have larger consequences

The girls’ long-term foster parent had an emergency and had to go to be with her family.  She did not know how long she would be gone.  The girls, elementary school students, had developed a strong bond with Foster Mama and felt safe with her.  They suddenly felt scared.  Where were they going to go?  Were they going to see her again?  We cobbled together a respite plan and moved them within hours.  It wasn’t

Foster care is a large, complex system.  It is important to remember that individual lives and stories make up foster care.  Please take a moment to hear Jazzlynn's story, one of the many Faces of Foster Care. 

Jazzlynn, or "Jazzy" for short, is 15 years old. She's been in and out of foster care for the majority of her life. She doesn't remember all of the schools she's been to or the names of the

Elijah is six years old.  His birthday was last month and he had a Pokemon themed party.  Not many kids went, but it was still fun.  He’s going to dress up as Flying Charmander for Halloween.  Elijah can tell you all about Pokemon and every character.  He loves to play the online games and has every book he can find about them.  He watches the cartoons every chance he gets.

Elijah has lived with the