Thanksgiving: a time for gratitude, family, and gathering.

For children and youth in foster care, holidays of all sorts can be triggering.  Thanksgiving can have additional layers of difficulty. 

As caring adults supporting children and youth in foster care, it is important to understand these complexities and offer meaningful support.

Thankful

“Adoption loss is the only trauma in the world where the victims are expected by the whole of society to be grateful.”-

For their whole lives, he’s been their hero.  They looked to him when they were unsure of where to go next.  They looked to him for reassurance.  They looked to him to chart their course forward.

At the end of the summer, their hero will disappear.  He’s ready to be a hero to more than his family.  He will enter boot camp and take an oath to protect and serve his nation.  For Brave R

“The hoops are too much for me to go through for me to offer such a kind thing.”

I draw my breath in and let it out slowly. 

Another applicant bites the dust.

Another home does not open their door.

Another child is left waiting.

Foster parent licensing is a process.  It takes time and effort.  Completing an application, running background checks and fingerprints, home interviews, MAPP class, CPR and First Aid, obtaining references...I know

He left from school.  He had his backpack and his homework.  He didn't get to hug his mom.

She left from home.  There wasn’t time to pack much, they had to get going.  She wasn’t sure what to grab, so she just stuffed things into the garbage bag blindly.  Turned out to be clothing from last season.  She will have to wear a sweater and long pants tomorrow, even though it will be 84 degrees

According the the national average, nearly half of all homes licensed to provide foster care will quit within their first year of fostering.  That means if ten families open their doors, four of those families will close them in less than 12 months. 

What does that mean?  What is happening?

Fostering is hard.  There’s no gentle way to put it.  It impacts every facet of a fostering family’s life, from leisure time to work schedules

Dear Ms. 6,

            You arrived in a storm.

            It’s okay, I whispered, sliding under the kitchen table next to you. I’m scared of storms, too.

            I didn’t sleep the first night week month ever again, slipping into your room to make sure you’re still there.  “If you get sick, or scared, or hurt,” I reminded you endlessly, “you just come into my room and wake me up, or call my name, and

On Friday, she will get the keys to her first apartment.

She will have all of the same butterflies as every young adult who has taken this step.  She will walk up the freshly shoveled path to the front stoop.  She will turn the key in the lock for the first time, swing open the door, and step into independence.

She is nineteen.  Most of her peers are still at home or in dorms for

What if there was one more bed?

One more bed for a 14 year old would mean that Kayla could step down from a group care program where she’s completed her service plan.  She has skills to manage her anxiety and a care team to support her.  She could live with a family while her biological family regains its footing.  She could feel a bit more like a regular kid.

One more bed for a

May is National Foster Care Month.  It is a month to reflect upon the confusing system that is foster care, to keep children in care, foster parents, biological parents, foster siblings (the children of foster parents), foster care workers, judges, lawyers, GALs, CASA workers, and everyone else in your thoughts.  And for some of our foster parents, it is the right time to reflect back upon why they choose to foster.  

Mama B is one

Applying to Become a Licensed Foster Parent: References

There are many steps to becoming a licensed foster parent.  Background checks, obtaining documentation, attending MAPP class, and the homestudy.  One of the most over-looked and under-appreciated components of the study, however, is the reference section.

Agencies are required to obtain personal references, employer references, school references (if applicants have school-aged children in their home), and medical references.  Agencies may ask different questions on their forms, but