Biological families, or families of origin, are often painted with a broad brush and in a terrible light.  The fear of family work often is one of the factors that holds potential foster families at arms length and dissuades them from becoming foster parents. 

Let’s take a moment to talk about what family work looks like and how foster parents can build bridges, not fences, between themselves and families.

Who are Families Involved in Child Welfare?

Families typically become involved with child welfare services because there is an enormous challenge they are facing that has overwhelmed their ability to maintain safe parenting practices.  Challenges could involve untreated mental health needs like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Postpartum Depression/Psychosis, or Depression; substance dependency disorders; domestic violence; or homelessness that results in unsafe conditions for a child to remain with their parents. 

While the reasons children enter care may vary, there is something that is almost always true: there is deep love in these families.  Parents want good futures for their children.  They want them to be safe, feel loved, and live life fully.  Children love their parents.  They see the beautiful pieces of their parents and want them to get well.

We know there are extreme cases, but they are rare.  We are going to focus on the most typical cases: families filled with love but overwhelmed by circumstances.  We approach all families assuming they are bonded by deep love and want good things for one another.

What is Family Work?

Family work includes many things, but essentially is the supportive action a foster parent makes to ensure a child's bond with their biological family remains intact.  Let's explore a few different ways that happens.

In Person Visits: Foster parents almost always meet biological family members.  Federal law mandates that children and parents have the right to see one another in person a minimum of one hour per week.  These visits usually occur at the child welfare office and are supervised by a social worker.  This allows parents and children to see one another and know they are all physically safe.  It allows time to talk, to play games, and to maintain the family bond. It is also an opportunity for social workers to observe family interactions, understand how the family communicates and works together, and to offer resources on how to strengthen their family dynamic.  For instance, a social worker may observe that a parent responds to a child’s behavior in a reactive, sudden manner, rather than something that is supportive and feels safe.  The parent may not know another way.  This is an opportunity for the social worker to provide education and new methods to the parent.  In large families, a parent may struggle to meet all children’s needs and to figure out how to prioritize their attention.  A social worker may be able to assist with that. 

Foster parents do not sit in on family visits, but they do typically bring the child to the visit.  In most cases, they bring the child into the building.  We encourage our parents to greet the parent, to offer some information about how the child’s week has been, and then to say goodbye.  Most parents run errands during the visit, which is typically an hour long.  Once the visit is over, they return to pick up the child and wish the parent a good week. 

Keeping Parents Informed: Some foster parents bring a child’s schoolwork, art projects, or other artifacts from the child’s week to family visits.  Some keep a journal that they fill out every day detailing things that happened, so the parent knows what is going on in their child’s life.  Very young children grow and develop so quickly and it is important for their parent to know about the rapid changes that occur, like their sleep schedule, allergies that may develop, feeding schedule, foods they are eating, and developmental needs they may have.  This kind of communication makes sure that when reunification happens, a parent knows their child and can meet their needs.

Other Communication: Family work often includes phone calls and emails during the week.  Some foster parents keep a separate number, like a cell phone dedicated to family calls, or email addresses like "thejonesfosterfamily@email.com" to provide a dedicated email address for foster family activities.  Others just use their regular phones and emails, and this typically works well.  There is generally specific guidance from the child welfare organization regarding how and when contact should occur, like phone calls every Tuesday at 7PM or emails twice a week.  This allows a clear connection for children and parents while setting respectful boundaries.

Thoughtful Actions: Family work also happens when the child is not with their parent.  Some of our very successful foster parents take extra steps to ensure a child’s family is included.  They will ask for and frame pictures of the child’s family to keep in their room, or make a little photo album for the child to keep by their bed or in their backpack.  They include family members in prayers if that is a ritual they observe.  They check to see when parents’ and siblings’ birthdays are so a child is ready with a card and a gift at the next visit.  They ask their child about their family and let the child know it is okay to talk about their parents, that they are still people who matter.  They speak positively and respectfully about a child's family.

Why is Family Work Important?

Family work is a way for foster parents to stitch back together the pieces of a child's life.  Family work tells a child that their story, their roots, and their loved ones are important.  Family work allows a child to live fully, rather than to compartmentalize pieces of their identity.  By providing supportive family work, foster families allow biological families to know someone is in their corner, know their children are safe, and allow them to focus confidently on the tasks they need to complete to reunify with their children.  These reassurances strengthen bonds and heal families, which is exactly what we want our fostering families to do. 

If you could be a bridge between a child in foster care and their family, please reach out.  We would love to speak with you.