Thanksgiving: a time for gratitude, family, and gathering.

For children and youth in foster care, holidays of all sorts can be triggering.  Thanksgiving can have additional layers of difficulty. 

As caring adults supporting children and youth in foster care, it is important to understand these complexities and offer meaningful support.

Thankful

“Adoption loss is the only trauma in the world where the victims are expected by the whole of society to be grateful.”-

“It is kind of a lot. I’m not looking to get that involved.”

This was the voice on the other end of the line on Monday.  She was the thirty-seventh call I made, the third to pick up (others received voicemails, texts, or emails).  I sighed. It is true, I thought, fostering is “a lot” but being involved is where the magic happens.

We need people who want to be that involved. 

We need parents

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, foster means “to encourage something to develop.”

Fostering a child is not simply providing shelter and meals.  It is so much more.  So what exactly does a parent foster?

Foster parents foster healing.

Foster parents foster self-esteem.

Foster parents foster healthy relationships.

Foster parents foster emotional intelligence and empathy.

Foster parents foster joy and curiosity.

Foster parents foster positive childhood memories.

Foster parents foster success- achievements along the way

Supporting a Child through the Goal of Adoption:

Typically, when children are removed from their families by the Department of Children and Families, their first goal is to be reunified when and if it is safe enough to do so.

As a result, reunification is the most common goal for children in foster care. However, this is not always the case for the 32% of children in our program. Unfortunately, when parents are not meeting

As you walk into my home for the first time, I watch as you tentatively inspect your room deciding where to put your shoes and which one of your beloved stuffed animals you would like to sleep with. I help you put your clothes in the dresser and pick out some comfortable pajamas. As you lay your head down on your pillow, which is covered by a cotton pillowcase don’t think twice as to what

He was so small!

Allison’s hands fluttered over of him, not sure where to touch.  He had a tube going through his nose and down the back of his throat, allowing him to eat.  He had a respirator to breathe, which he was weaning off of but still needed most of the time.  He had bandages on his legs where his IVs had been placed. 

The nurses took time and demonstrated how to hold him

Stacy and James Lopes were empty nesters when they decided to foster again. They had previously fostered and took guardianship of their son’s teenage friend years prior. As a stay at home mother, Stacy enjoyed being present for her biological children as they were growing up and felt she and James still had the ability to make a difference in a youth’s life.

After a couple of months, the Lopes’ home ultimately opened in January

It was his “Second Act.”  Ray’s son was an adult and had moved out.  His business was steady and thriving and when he came home, the house was quiet.  He remembered the joy of taking his son camping, going to family picnics, and attending sporting events.  Every day he passed by the empty bedroom and felt a void.  One day, an ad highlighting the need for foster parents caught his eye. Ray filled out the

Many folks want to foster, but they are not sure they have what it takes.  They question, am I enough?  Will I be able to do this?  Do I have what a child needs?

Let’s explore what kids in care need.  If you think it sounds like you, that might be a sign it is time to apply!

1. A Steady Presence: Children and youth in care have been through a lot.  While

Foster parenting is not a fit for every person.  Not everyone is in the right stage of life, has a schedule with the needed flexibility, or has the space within their home to add another person.  Not everyone’s household members agree with the idea of fostering.  Not everyone has the health and wellbeing to commit to foster care.

While fostering isn’t for everyone, there is nearly no limit to who can contribute to the foster