She watched as the city slowly passed by between each bus stop. The button on her cardigan sleeve was starting to detach slowly, due to her constant fidgeting with it.  The school bus filled and came closer to its destination. Rebecca kept telling herself that everything was going to be okay, but she was anxious.

Every year she and her mom would make a big deal about picking out her clothes before the first day of school. Her mother would make her favorite chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast and take her photo before the bus arrived. But this year…this year was different. She didn’t wake up in her purple bedroom or to the smell of chocolate chip pancakes. Her foster mother Gloria offered to help pick out her first day of school outfit yesterday, but Rebecca said she would rather do it alone. The thought of walking into a new school, making new friends, finding a place to sit at lunch, and joining band club wasn’t causing the anxiety. It was the idea that she would not be able to tell her mom about the day the moment she got off the bus this afternoon. The things that made her laugh, the kids she thought she could be friends with, the classes she was excited for or not. She was worried she would forget about all the little things that eventually add up to the big things, before her visit with her mom on Friday.

While the day had gone better than Rebecca had imagined, she still felt like she had her own personal storm cloud over her head. The icebreaker questions were the worst part. Having to hear about everyone’s summer break made Rebecca upset. While others went swimming, to amusement parks, or on family vacation. She moved from four different DCF hotline homes, before finally being placed with Gloria. Her foster mother was warm and welcoming. Gloria wasn’t uncomfortable with the silent moments which typically occurred after Rebecca got back in the car from her visits. Rebecca always felt overwhelmed after visits thinking about the fact that a whole week would pass by before she could see her mom again. However, Gloria would drive silently in the car waiting for Rebecca to be ready to speak again. Sometimes Rebecca would tell Gloria about her visits with mom, but most times, she wanted to keep them to herself. She liked to pretend her and mom were out to lunch catching up on the week rather than meeting at a visitation center.

Rebecca let out a heavy sigh when she walked into the foster home that afternoon. On her way to her bedroom, she saw a small basket on the dining room table with her name on it.  The basket had a fancy fountain pen, notebook, and picture frame. Rebecca found Gloria in the kitchen reading the newspaper and thanked her for the items. Gloria explained that she had noticed that Rebecca was using sticky notes to write down things that happened during the week that she wanted to share with her mom during visits. Gloria thought Rebecca might like the notebook better as it was less likely for her to lose it and she could bring it with her throughout the day. The picture frame was for the photo of Rebecca and her mother, which was slowly crinkling after the frequent moves over the summer. After a long anxious day, the contents of this small basket brought peace to Rebecca.

Becoming a foster parent is understanding you can’t erase a child’s pain or their past, but you can provide a healing space where emotions can be processed. A space where healing can start. If you feel like you can provide a calming, steady, and understanding presents to a child’s life please contact us today.